I haven’t had many video game dreams.. in fact I have only had a few.. sure when I was kid I would occasionally toss and turn all night playing games in my dreams.. but games that I had played all day long.. like dr. mario… and I would uncomfortably be playing the puzzles in my sleep… or dreaming about playing mutant league hockey on the sega genesis which i used to rent from the video store as a kid and play the entire weekend long…
I did have a dream about this weird video game character S.E.F about a year ago & S.E.F is a game I continue to try to work on.. off and on… since I would love to play it in reality..
Well, last night I had another video game dream.. I was at my grandparents vacation condo which my entire family would share when I was a kid..my uncles, aunts, cousins etc.. would all stay there for their vacations.. including my family too. Kinda like a time share where each family gets a few weekends/weeks to stay there..
So, in the dream I end up finding that no one has been inside the condo for about 15 years and upon walking in with my Mom & Dad I notice that the condo is completely unchanged… it was like I was transported to 15 years ago & at that time in my real life my grandparents hadn’t redone the condo so it was all 1970’s/80’s furniture and electronics.. it took my grandparents until the mid/late 1990’s to change the style of the condo…. and they had this insane shag rug that was the brightest/ugliest color blue/green imaginable.. and there was a different color in each room too.. I remember a bright orange rug in one of the bed rooms as well..
So in the dream I walk into a back room and discover a giant collection of old video games laying on the floor in front of an old tv.. the games have all recognizable characters & i seem to know them all very well but.. these were all games that my imagination had come up with…..since it wasn’t mario or sonic it was these other really bizarre weird game characters & games which I unfortunately can’t really remember now.. but in the dream I was really really excited since I came to the conclusion that my cousins had left this huge collection of old games and consoles years and years earlier.. discarded relics of a forgotten age… outdated.. forgotten.. & left to collect dust..
the games were all classics… but then again the games were all made up by my own imagination.. I think there was a game where you play as a vampire/bat.. which I remember picking up and saying out loud “I can’t believe it! I love this game!” which i continued to do over and over for a bunch of different games some of which were for different consoles.. I felt my heart pound with excitement.. the excitement I used to get about playing video games as a kid… I felt pure contentment to return to that period of my life.. and suddenly everything seemed to make sense to me … a kind of reassurance and comforting feeling.
Even the consoles looked weird.. they weren’t sega or nintendo.. but had these other obscure names.. but in my brain I associated them to sega/nes…So, I instantly start hooking up all the old consoles and playing these recognizable games & some i didnt know from my childhood.. the room is darkly lit and I am surrounded by the brown tones that were so prevalent during the 1980’s… I can feel the roughness of the shag rug under me as I sit on the floor playing these old games all of which are completely covered in the thickest dust imaginable.. and I keep thinking to myself.. “How in the world could my cousins have left all these great games here!!!!” The glow from the television fills the room and shines on my face as I continue to play a few minutes of each game & then discover another hidden game gem from my childhood hiding in another part of the room.. and with every game I find.. the same excitement overwhelms me.. like I had just uncovered the holy grail over and over and had been just as excited each time I found it…
My Mom & Dad in the dream walk into the room and tell me its time to go.. & that no one will be back to the apartment ever again and ask me what I possibly could be doing in the dark abandoned room… and I say “Wait, wait! there is a ton of old games here!” & I start thumbing through all the games looking at the artwork & reading the titles each time feeling overwhelmed with excitement and anxiety to grab everything that I can. I even want to take the old crappy brown television, but I can’t carry everything! I tell my parents I am going to take all the games and the old consoles.. that if my cousins wanted them they would have taken them 15 years ago… my parents don’t say anything just simply shrug their shoulders tell me they are leaving the condo & that I need to hurry up.
I continue picking up the games.. while I still keep discovering more and more long lost games from my youth.. wondering to myself how will I ever manage to carry all of these!!!!?
Then…. I woke up….
The dream made me realize no matter how much I try to convince myself to just finish school and get a job in graphic design.. like I have been thinking recently after all that has happened with my Dad.. that there is no way I can possibly leave the idea of making video games behind me.. I still enjoy graphic design and would have no real problem doing graphic design for a job.. & sure part of this dream has to do with the fact that I don’t want to grow up… but its more about growing up and wanting to take my childhood with me as an adult.. I want to be creative, I want to have fun and I want a job that I can be excited about each day… I want to remember the past.. I want to dream.. life is too short.. too unpredictable.. & I think the one thing that would make me happy.. and make my parents content is if they knew I was doing something I loved & managed to succeed in.
This is why working on Incursion is so important to me… & why trying hard to keep up with my portfolio class & doing a decent job at the assignments is too.. Yeah.. I want some success.. & want a better life as far as a home & some security for myself and my girlfriend.. But, really I just want to do what I am passionate about.. i dont have to be rich.. i don’t have to be famous.. I just want a tiny piece of the pie.. just a sliver.. it doesn’t even have to taste that great.. if i could get that at least I could be pretty much at ease… You know.. a house.. a yard.. a washer and dryer? as long as you people in charge keep things running at least pretty smoothly…. but maybe make cars out of thicker materials.. & airplanes too.. like how they used to be in the old days.. stop making cheap stuff… stop spending all the money… stop churning out movies that are garbage.. inject some soul into what you do.. or what you finance or whatever!.. I only get to live once & so don’t you…. as far as I know.. i’d like to see what humans have to offer the world.. well at least in positive ways! I guess some people were meant to be in a Werner Herzog movie about the death penalty.. but…. sure as heck wish there wasn’t.. for their sakes.. for our sakes.. oh… for heavens sakes..